Grief City

I want to touch on grief today.

I want to feel better about losing my unborn son, Frank McDowell Rose, almost exactly a year ago to this day.

Although by design, I wasn’t included in the process of termination.

I pushed. Too hard.

I was sick. I got scared.

Paranoia ran through my blood and only paranoia.

I was hurt.

I pushed it to happen unwillingly.

I miss the thought of my son.

I miss the laughs we would’ve had.

To remember him is to love.

He could have been anything he wanted.

My choices furthered his possibility of death.

I left her.

So she took him.

I don’t even blame her.

I want to be okay.

I want everyone to love.

Grief is a necessary step.

I am now living in honor of my unborn son.

I’ve wanted to be a dad for a long time.

Sometimes I push too hard trying to be a father figure to my nephews.

I just miss him.

I will and have already met him in another life.

He is special.

Don’t get bogged down grieving.

These people who are gone,

want the best for you and me.

They don’t want us to stop living.

It’s some of the toughest feelings to get through.

But here we are.

Live FOR them, if they never had the chance,

Thank you for reading.

written by Corey McDowell Rose